I do not think it is necessary to point this out. I have learned that 'moving on' or forgetting someone that meant a whole world is not based on 'because I can' but 'because I want to' forget you then I should. A friend told me that she could pass through all the pain and tears just by the faith to God alone. She was the one who taught me to bring ALL my problems - even though it sounds silly to bring your feeling's problem - under the cross of Jesus Christ. After strove so hard, I could not hide anything more and just knelt behind Him.
Deep down in my heart, I was slightly expecting a bit or even a piece of your heart would have ever been carried by me. I knew it IS impossible and I must learn to open my heart a little by little towards others. Then again, today I cannot control myself. I stared my Facebook to find which Best Vine's videos you did like or share :') What pages or activities you are up to. Whose tweets you are answering... I do not know. It's like I AM willing to surrender to God, but deep down that piece of meat, there is a very tiny cries that regretting the absence of you from me, or from my heart. I guess a feeling will decay - does not vanish perfectly but the amount will decrease - it's still there, but allowing itself to be unnoticeable.
Hearing few friends' love stories; moving, sad, happy, anxious stories that the blog itself will not enough to contain all, I just want to admit that I miss you, despite you never feeling the same to me =) I know that when I fell to you, you were a growing from a boy into mature man while I was trying to become a girl.
Honestly, I want to see you in my thinner body, a bit taller body :p, my new cut fringes, just to say one last hello. To see if I ever react the same way as before. But then, all in all, I miss you. And I thank you God to let you arrived at my life to teach me become a mature woman, indirectly. I loved you, MMS :'D
No comments:
Post a Comment